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You're fine and you will meet people who are better for you, guaranteed. Your time table is way, waaaaaay too short, here.

You had three dates with this guy. You've known him for a week. You dating Sex sluts not lose him, because after a week you weren't even close to being in a relationship with him yet. Forget about the silly "slut" issue, or when you should sleep with new guys, or adjusting your tactics, you need to get these crazy unrealistic expectations out of your head. If you think he dating Sex sluts "Mr.

Almost Right" after a week, an not "Mr. I Barely Know This Dude Yet", you're not jumping dating Sex sluts gun sexually but emotionally, and it's going to cause you a lot of heartbreak even if you never run dating Sex sluts another scumbag like this asshole again. This is also a dude who, because he didn't communicate what he really wanted, didn't get what he wanted.

I don't understand the commenters who say something like this. He did get what he wanted, which was NSA sex. That's clearly what he wanted, since after he took a crap on the prospects of an actual relationship, he was still after the bootycall action. He's not secretly pining after a relationship with the "right" girl, or whatever, he's just headfucking the girls he hooks up with. He probably thinks he'll be dating Sex sluts successful that way, and he might even be right.

He's just a scumbag for not being honest about that, but dating Sex sluts not actually hurting himself at all. Most men are not like that. If you're picking the d-bags every time, try going out with someone you wouldn't normally have picked. You didn't rush in too quickly, you thought you had dating Sex sluts connection and spark with this guy. I don't see anything immature about what you did.

This guy is sociopathically mean to tell you "you seem like you have sex with whoever wants it. Why would he want someone to yell at him and push him around for no reason? And he says you're the one with the problem?

Hah, I don't think so. Move on. Hang in there. There are guys out there who are NOT like this. This dude is a submissive male. He wants a dominant female. Because you didn't resist his moves towards sex, he sees you as submissive too. He realizes this and is telling you right out that ultimately it's not going to be a match. You're reading into the part where you think he's calling you a slut. It's just a difference in dating Sex sluts of sexual style.

Really, the only salient comment to be made after this revelation is "fuck him". This isnot Victorian England.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman willing to have sex a lot if she wants to. I suppose he was looking for a "feminist" dating Sex sluts who matched up with some absurd stereotype in his head of a pushy, cold, bossy lady who doesn't like men, instead of an actual feminist woman who believes all people should be treated equally and with respect?

Liking sex, and choosing to have sex with a willing partner is just fine, for women and men. He chose the same thing; is he a slut?

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No, because only women can be sluts, um, wait, that's kind of sexist. He's not a feminist. I think you you probably would benefit from being a bit more critical of dating Sex sluts.

Critical in the same sense as critical thinking: And I think you would benefit from valuing yourself more highly, and not dating Sex sluts this kind of crap. He's got some issues. They aren't your fault. You deserve a much nicer boyfriend, and better sex. He wants something very, very specific from a partner.

Most people don't have such exact standards for how they want interactions to go, so odds are good that the next fellow you find will like you as you are. Also, I'd be very wary of someone who liked blurring the lines between real conflict and play conflict.

He sounds like the kind of guy who might upset someone and blame them for "taking it too personally," or who thinks safewords are for wimps, etc.

It's actually a good thing that he put his weirdness on the table so early and spared you a ton of drama and confusion. Not your fault, this guy seems to have a lot of hang-ups. HE'S a slut. Okay, as insults go, that's not really all that accurate.

But notice how he got you to insult yourself on his behalf? I don't think it's kinky or "edgy" to have sex with you and then deliberately make you feel bad about yourself in the hope that you'll find the feelings dating Sex sluts rejection so painful that you rush back and give him more opportunities to reject you. That's what I think he's playing at. That's just flat-out meanness and bullying and now he's inviting you dating Sex sluts get into an abusive relationship with him.

Dating Sex sluts not running after him and going, "no, wait! Pay attention to what I just wrote. And you should reject him! Awful awful awful man. Horrible horrible evil man. I have a lot of sympathy for submissive men. It's not dating Sex sluts for them to be up front about their desires in a socially acceptable way and I'm sure that many bad sexual experiences and mismatches result. However, they sometimes get into this entitlement-to-sexual-pleasure kick where they think it's cool to never communicate their needs and then criticize when they don't get met.

Every woman who doesn't intuit their exact desire for submissive sex is "secretly submissive" or subject to passive aggressive critique of how dating Sex sluts not porn-y enough to be "truly" dominant.

If it gives you any schadenfreude, most dominant women see his kind coming a mile away and avoid them like the plague. This statement right here? This marks him as being a worthless piece of shit. Fuck his immature headgames. But then I got to this part: So much for the benefit of the doubt. What a jerk. The problem is not that you're a slut, it's that he isn't good at communicating his kink or introducing dating Sex sluts into sexual encounters. He seems to think dating Sex sluts play-force should happen organically, whereas in reality it's up to him dating Sex sluts communicate his desires to a partner who can then elect to participate in the role-play.

Long story short, this does dating Sex sluts sound to me like it is the least bit about you OR about you dating Sex sluts slutty or easy or whatever shitty word you want to use. The hard truth is that many men are terrified of female sexuality and of its power dating Sex sluts men.

This is perhaps why that cad treated you the way he did. Learn from the experience and know that there are far better men out there who will love you and respect you as the woman you are. He's not judging her at all -- he's just explaining that the kind of sex she wants is not the kind he's into.

Please don't over-generalise it; it was one guy, one week - not all your relationships with men will be like this, and it says more about him than you. I personally don't see the need for hard and fast rules - sleep with someone when you're ready FWIW, my partner and I M, hetero slept dating Sex sluts on the 2nd date and we've been together 7 years.

You're 21 and dating Sex sluts have your whole life ahead of dating Sex sluts. Plenty of time! My parents divorced and both remarried in their 50s, think of how many people you know who've found a life partner at an older age. Make sure people know what your school of thought is, as someone said above. Put it in your OK Cupid profile. You may still attract players, but dating Sex sluts you're upfront about who you are and what you want, then you'll attract the right ones, too.

He's wrong, but that by itself would not be so bad. He seems to know what he wants sexually; he's a submissive male, and there's nothing wrong with that. But he didn't tell you until after you had sex, TWICE that he wanted a dominant female partner, and he did it in a way that made you feel bad about yourself. Yeah, that sucks. He's a jerk. What an utterly douchebag move to make on his part.

Instead dating Sex sluts saying, "Hey, I like women to order me around, make me fight for sex, can we role-play that? Which would benefit who, exactly? You want a relationship with a decent guy dating Sex sluts he wants a dominatrix who can read his mind. Definitely NO. He told dating Sex sluts afterwards that you were "too nice" and "really willing to have sex all the time. You don't have a bunch of sexual baggage.

That's a plus! Forget about the slut stuff, or the "you seem to have sex with anyone who wants it"--this man has guilt dating Sex sluts shame issues that have nothing to do with you. You're not a slut! You know what you want sexually, too, and you thought this guy was it. You were dating Sex sluts about him--good thing to find out early. You dodged a bullet there. Your follow-up about how to stay away from guys like this? That's tough. Dating Sex sluts if you communicate really well before you in Milf Thum personals sex, there's always a possibility of something like this happening, because some people will misrepresent themselves just to have NSA sex.

Sometimes you just have to kiss a lot of toads before you find that prince, you know? I hate to stereotype but a good chunk of men who do are sort of bottomy guys who liked to be pushed around by women, and this guy dating Sex sluts right in. So that's one lesson to be learned. Anyway, you really dodged a bullet. Would you want to be with a guy who dating Sex sluts this submissive? This guy is clearly a weirdo.

One way is to not meet men on sites like OKCupid that probably attract a disproportionate number of weirdos. I know there dating Sex sluts normal people on there, but in general I think online dating, and especially sites like OKC, draw more "offbeat" people who have trouble connecting with folks in real life.

If you're going to continue dating on OKC, you might want to do more filtering before you meet in person. Ask more questions in advance of meeting to make sure you're on the same page. Also, hold off on intimacy until you really know the guy. No kidding. What a tool. Equally, saying one is a feminist doesn't make it so; actions speak a lot louder than words on dating Sex sluts front.

The good thing is that you were able to figure out that things aren't going dating Sex sluts work after only a week -- imagine if he hid his desires for a year or two and then dumped this on you?

All over the place. All of us are assholes in our own ways, but not many men are going to be an asshole in this specific way. Many, if not most, people would be delighted to have a partner who had the confidence to enjoy sex and make it good for both people. If you are having a pattern of sleeping with guys and then feeling used and discarded, you might want to experiment with slowing things down. Not getting all Rules on their asses, but slowing things just enough to filter out the guys who dating Sex sluts only interested in getting some quick action and moving on.

I feel SO much better after having read what you guys had to say Before I dating Sex sluts this one as resolved - what are some good dating sites that I should use? It's generally hard for me to hang out downtown since I'm really busy, which is why I've been using OKC. I felt like school and just post school was all about meeting people all over the place for dating. Join a club? Also when I was in college the idea of dating someone outside of college age just didn't appeal to me.

He got pissed at me because I didn't want to get into nasty fights with him and refused to call him nasty names?! I dodged a bullet, and so did you, girlfriend. For what it's worth, he and I met on okc, but I have also met some really lovely guys from dating Sex sluts. I wouldn't give up on okc, dumb asses are there in equal proportion to real dating Sex sluts for what it's worth, all my exes I met "in real life" first were incredible asses posted by mostly vowels at 2: I may have been too disparaging of OLD.

It's not ideal, of course, because I think higher quality men are less likely to use online dating seems to be more dating Sex sluts of men than women for whatever reason.


But you can still find some cool guys online if you do a lot of weeding. I also messaged some guys first rather than just responding to messages I received because often the more desirable guys are less inclined to make first contact. In general be selective, pay close attention to how they answer their match questions. There are lots of those. Also be wary of guys who have been on the site for eons. But, forget the fishing analogy.

Boy is not worth your time. I hope, for your sake, that at the very least the sex was enjoyable. As a friend once said, "There's no excuse for bad sex. A blip. On the radar and gone. If you want to make it better for you, just start moving your fingers dating Sex sluts the left. Tell dating Sex sluts to "keep talking that mess", but make sure he "walks and talks dating Sex sluts the same time" out of your life.

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Go ahead, girl. Be happy this was so short and to the point. Okay, cheers. They're everywhere hi there! My observation is that it takes a few rides around the relationship wheel for people to grow up about this stuff. Unfortunately, of dating Sex sluts who have had more relationships, many end up bitter dating Sex sluts jaded instead, so it's not like the slightly older crowd is without its own disproportionate issues, but the particular dumbassery in question is something that you can look forward to getting better.

I find it also depends dating Sex sluts social circles - some scenes are very aware of these things, and some scenes are I recommend OKcupid. I've tried a few pay sites, but I keep ending up at OKcupid. I'm a guy, and you note it's less true of women, but my feeling is that this has tipped or is tipping - it used to be the case that you couldn't really meet the best people online, now dating Sex sluts seems to be more the case that you can't really meet the best people OFF-line - they have full, busy lives, and online dating means they don't need to be spending their time at places where they might meet people, dating Sex sluts can concentrate on doing productive stuff and let the internet find people to meet.

Unfortunately, like a lot of people, I don't "profile" online as well as I do in person, and some people are the opposite, and that can make it hard to find the people you want to find: His actions, words, and how you feel around him are all you need to know. Forget for normal chill girl in Zilina Looking professed ideology and political leanings.

If you want to get technical, just disabuse him of his assumed adroitness with praxis. Praxis fail. The guy in question ended up texting me tonight to ask me to hang out - he "thought dating Sex sluts were friends too, and he didn't mean it like dating Sex sluts - but I am taking this experience as a moment to become wiser.

Once again, thank you. MetaFilter is awesome. You are a healthy young woman with a young woman's sex drive. I'm twice your age and I would have sex with my man every Frankfurtammain tonight in Wanna fuck for hours if I could. Sex feels good. That's why people engage in it.

It is also why there are many huge money making industries because of sex and how good it feels. Hope that helps you not feel like a slut. Or does it make me a slut? That man and here, I am using man loosely was not the right kind of mate for anyone. He wants dating Sex sluts mom to tell him no.

Or a master to roll up a newspaper and swat him on the nose. You were looking for a partner, not a son or a pet so don't let him make you think you did something wrong here. There is no such thing as too nice. There is such a thing as too much of a jerk I would like to use a stronger word, but why dirty my mouth on such an insignificant person?

He wants someone to tell him no and push him away? Tell him no. No, you can't be his friend. Push him away, you don't have room in your nonsense. Keep being who you are. You will find someone who will is wonderful and appreciate you.

It may take time, but you will. You don't have room in your life for nonsense! That's better! But dating Sex sluts problem is that we re-write the script when we don't have to. You have a lot of language here that you re-wrote what he said. That's a reflection of your feelings, not his. So when you get the urge to rewrite usually when the hurt is presentdon't do it. Who are you calling a slut?

Maybe it is a sign of the social embracing of the female sexual revolution! Maybe it was because we just had a more limited vocabulary and experience. Now, as we are all older, casual sex seems to be an accepted outlet and expression. There is a lot less judgement on a man, dating Sex sluts woman, for indulging in it. Discussions on this have led me to believe that if a girl is consistently wearing skimpy clothes, she would be considered a slut, whether or not she has ever had sex before in her life.

We are all in control of our skin, dating Sex sluts front, our dating Sex sluts — and we choose to believe that your outfit was not accidental. Presentation of behavior is also key. A point that was brought up to me was that, if a girl still always behaves like a lady, in spite of her sexual behavior, she will still be considered a lady. Which brings me to the next point. But like every good floater, your reputation will surely rise to the surface. Standard anti-slut behavior: Confidence Some women are extremely open about their sexual confidence, that it leaves dating Sex sluts room for misinterpretation or name calling.

Women are extremely harsh on their own gender, this is no surprise.


I personally think female sexual independence cannot truly exist primarily due to the nature of sexual organs. The vagina is always going to be the recipient. Dating Sex sluts, no matter how sexually forward and powerful a woman may present herself to be, she is still at the mercy of a man, physically — and unlike the man, is not necessary guaranteed an orgasm per go.

Instead, what do women want to do? They want to the The Dating Sex sluts. The One that converts his manwhoring to monogamy. Women are our own downfall.

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